*This letter is in response to a video degrading a young mother who was allegedly murdered by her partner in my hometown. She did not deserve to die. 


Greetings world,

Let's just get right to the point, shall we? I am not a hood rat. 

I am not a holla back girl. I am not a b****, h**, or anything of that nature. 

You can call me by my government-recognized name: Jamie I.Y. Crockett. 

I was raised and attended school and my place of worship in East St. Louis, IL and its surrounding area. 


I worked to do my best in a public school system that needed assistance. As a result, I was among the top in my class. And by the way, my graduating class is incredibly intelligent. So intelligent and driven, our teachers have proclaimed they haven't witnessed a class like ours. 


I am a survivor. I have been through so many things as a human being and global citizen, not just an East St. Louis resident. So many things that should have killed me. Yet, I have a soft heart, and I definitely wear a tough skin. 

I am a Mizzou Tiger. I am a first-generation college student. I am a self-starting, independent, highly motivated perfectionist. I operate in the spirit of excellence. Hear me roar. 

I am a daughter, a friend, a sister, a student, a class president, a valedictorian, a journalist, a motivational speaker, a CEO & Founder, a runner up for an international video contest, a participant of a Harvard research project regarding youth and their positive online community building, a volunteer, a lover of people, a gentle spirit, a roaring lioness, a child of the Most High, a HUMAN BEING!

As a human being, I will not stand by and watch the defamation of another individual. I speak up!

Who are you? Who are you to stamp every individual connected to East St. Louis, IL with "Scum of the Earth?" Who are you to rank my hometown among the most dangerous cities in America?


Who are you to claim our success stories, but throw away our "troubled children?" 

Who are you to hail Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Al Joyner, Dawn Harper, Katherine Dunham, Miles Davis, Terry Hawthorne, Tina and Ike Turner and more as "American All-stars," but you speak of every other resident as a nameless piece of wasted time and dust that the Good Lord could have spent creating something else. 


Last I checked, we all are made of the same dust. How dare you. 


How dare you belittle MY family. The village who raised me. The lives who molded me. How dare you. 

You didn't help me become the activist I am today. But you sure as heck have fueled the fire. 

You don't have any authority to speak on the lives of my fellow residents. 

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Stop talking and DO SOMETHING to assist what you THINK may be failing in my hometown. 


Move your family here for a year, A YEAR. Learn the people. Love the people. See the issues. Solve the problems. THEN, AND MAYBE THEN, YOU CAN GIVE YOUR INPUT. 

But not a moment sooner.

Because until you do so, until you remember that you may have struggled to be where you are, until you remember that you had a silver spoon to eat from, until you remember that a life is not more valuable than another because of social and economic status, religious/nonreligious beliefs, geographic location, skin color or any other privilege you THINK you have, you will NEVER be able to speak with authority on something you know nothing about. 


I am a shining light and I shine through the darkness. 

My name is Jamie Crockett, a resident filled with hometown pride, and I approved this message.

I know several people, including myself, who would want nothing more than to hit that high note flawlessly. But alas, I believe Leona Lewis' voice remains unmatched in her song "Bleeding Love." 
If you have not heard it before, you can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzo-EL_62fQ


I am going to attempt to give my interpretation of her song, feel free to chime in with yours!

I remember back in high school, we would play music while working on our costumes for competition, etc. There was one specific instance I remember clearly when "Bleeding Love" came on. It was like the women in the room bonded over that one song! We thought we could relate to the pain, or maybe we thought it was just a good karaoke pick. Whatever the reason, be careful what you wish for, or in this case, feed your spirit: you just might live it. 

Even though I believe Leona Lewis' performance of this song hasn't been matched vocally, she represents the voice of many women, and possibly men, who experience some type of relationship-related trauma. 

For the sake of time and space, I will write this blog from the viewpoint of a woman and her "lover." I will do my best to be inclusive and gender-neutral. But I do not overlook the harrowing detail that trauma in relationships comes in many forms, as well as in many types of relationships. 

With that being said, pardon the expression, but let's dig in. Here's the complete list of lyrics: http://www.metrolyrics.com/bleeding-love-lyrics-leona-lewis.html



Leona Lewis opens "Bleeding Love" with a stanza explaining how she is disconnected emotionally because of her past relationships. All they did was cause her pain and after a while, she didn't feel it anymore.
 [*Closed off from love... before you know it you're frozen.*]

But there's hope! She thinks. Even after her hiatus from this emotional roller coaster, she seems to be drawn back by the presence of someone new. Her heart is no longer an ice box and this might just be what she was looking for. However, she faces opposition by other people in her life. 
[*But something happened... thinking I'm going crazy.*]

She completely disregards those people because of the love she knows she has. And through their many attempts to bring her back to reality, it's not her reality. He's the truth. But not really. And she doesn't even realize that through this whole process, her emotional well-being is at stake... once again. 
[*But I don't care what they say... My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing.*]

She has not fully healed and for whatever reason is being thrust back into that emotional turmoil. Probably because the person she's with now is not too different from her previous suitors. 
[*You cut me open and I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love.*]

Leona once again shifts her focus on the people who are trying to talk her out of this unhealthy relationship. At this point it seems that she begins to acknowledge that they care for her and want to make sure she isn't being taken advantage of. 
[*Trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud... Yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling.*] 

But her attention is diverted to this false love she feels because she has the presence of the one she loves and that's all she really needs. Or so she thinks. And those on the outside looking in can't understand why she won't leave. She considers that they might have a point. Maybe she is losing it.
[*But nothing's greater than the rush... Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy. Maybe. Maybe.*]

[Reread explanation: *But I don't care what they say... You cut me open...*]

Finally, she realizes how emotionally spent she has become. People might not really understand or believe that she's getting the picture: her lover isn't good for her. Now for every cut that person made, she has visible scars. This could speak to emotional, spiritual, psychological and/or even physical scars. 

I can only speak from the perspective of a woman because that's how I identify. However, this is not an uncommon situation for either gender or sexual identity. 

To whoever's reading this: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, SELF CARE!! If you are being harmed by ANYONE, in ANY WAY, listen closely: YOU DON'T DESERVE IT AND THEY DON'T DESERVE TO STAY IN YOUR BLESSED PRESENCE! 

KICK THEM OUT! IF YOU HAVE TO, LEAVE WITH THE CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK! 

If you don't, you will keep bleeding love, and you'll never heal. And those people who were true to you through thick and thin, will be there for you regardless. Don't be ashamed to speak with them. 

I've had my own experiences in which I was losing blood so fast, my head was spinning. But I made an appointment with the Master Healer, the Chief Surgeon. And as the song says, "I may have some scars, but I am HEALED!" And you can be too! 

Find a support group, a best friend, a parent, a church home, a community organization, exercise/yoga partner. Find something that will help you release! And if you need someone to talk to don't hesitate to reach out to me. Your feelings are valid, and your voice is needed! And it's probably stronger than Leona Lewis' will ever be! 

There are people out there who know your pain and struggle. 

"Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make the world a better place, if you can." 

If we do this, maybe we will all stop leaving trails of blood behind, and only our love will remain. 

I find it interesting that the country's forefathers escaped the tyranny of Great Britain, just to form a tyranny of their own once in America. Oppression knows no boundaries it seems. Where there is always a larger power, there is someone holding the short end of the stick. Often said, but probably hardly truly believed, "If you don't learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it."  

And have we repeated it, just in different forms. Our duty as journalists is to the citizens. We are watchdogs. We are bearers of light. We are truth seekers and truth tellers. So why are we so easily condemned when we do our jobs? Because there may just always be someone who's making deals under the table, doing hidden things under the cover of darkness, or in many cases evil, and there will probably always an entity not telling the whole truth. 

And that's our calling. That's our creed. Dean Walter Williams said in the original creed that all journalists should memorize and hold near to their heart, "I believe that suppression of the news, for any consideration other than the welfare of society, is indefensible." And I would have to agree. 

I would also agree with Dean Williams in believing that "the supreme test of good journalism is the measure of its public service." Wherever there is darkness, we will shine a light. Wherever there is oppression, we will give the voice back to the voiceless. That has been our calling, and it is a noble creed to follow. 

This was my second Red Carpet Anchoring shift at KOMU 8. Since I was more comfortable with the format, I was able to write my own scripts this time. It taught me that newscasts can be fun and creative. I have been weary of entertainment reporting before, but I think this opportunity offered me a different outlook on life. It was fun!

Self-critique: I thought my energy was good. Some of my words ran together and/or others are not enunciated very well. 

I said "legislator" when I meant "legislature." There is a difference.

Overall: This was my first time anchoring for the Around the State segment, and I think I did well. Always room for improvement! 

A Quill for Q.U.I.N.N. is a branch of Shining Light© which focuses on women's issues, specifically violence against women. 

It has been brought to my attention, from personal and observational experiences, that women have been subjected to violence on AT LEAST two different college/university campuses in the Columbia, Mo. area. 

Violence does not discriminate. It knows no age, gender, religion, ethnicity or even social class. Violence is, and can be found, everywhere. It has many forms, and often attempts to belittle its prey by damaging their bodies, spirits, mental capacities, emotions, and faith. 

It is my hope that A Quill for Q.U.I.N.N. will educate, advocate and mediate on behalf of those who are subjected to violence of many kinds. 

Here is a breakdown of the flier: 

• The name Quinn means counsel, or to recommend or give professional psychological help and advice.
• Quill is a pen made from a main wing or tail feather of a large bird by pointing and slitting the end of the shaft. This allows women to speak up and out about what has occurred. Sometimes, they need to write what's on their hearts. Words have life, and are even more powerful when spoken. 
• Six Dogwood flowers represent six trees that yield hard timber and is grown for its decorative foliage. They are in a circular position to represent the strong counsel being brought together to discuss ways to better the situation. 
• The gold borders indicate regardless of the situation, women can, and will remain illustrious and will be illuminating. When they are tried, they will come forth as pure gold (Job 23:10). 

Silence is indeed blind. As long as we are quiet, we will not see. As long as we do not see, we will not speak. 

Will YOU support A Quill for Q.U.I.N.N.? Or will you sit by the wayside while another voice is lost closer to YOUR home? I didn't think so. Leave a comment. Ask how you can help. 

-Jamie Crockett
Shining Light, Founder
Dec. 12, 2012

I had the opportunity of attending one of this year’s honor medal lectures. As always, I am completely inspired by these individuals to do even more effective work in the journalism field.  I went to listen to John Ferrugia, an investigative journalist at Denver station. I want to dig deep. I want to be a person who unearths injustices. I want to reveal what is concealed. Investigative journalism is definitely an outlet to do so.

Ferrugia said something that really stuck with me: He’s not an advocacy journalist. He just presents the facts. Those facts just happen to be similar to the butterfly effect, in which a butterfly’s wings can cause a hurricane to occur half-way across the world. Small

breakthroughs, little tips that come into the station, can have a huge impact not only locally, but nationally and internationally as well.

Journalists have to understand that as a defender of the public trust, we have a huge responsibility. We must evaluate where our loyalties lie. If we don’t, then we will be easily turned away from learning and revealing the truth. The public trusts us to be a gatekeeper of the welfare of society. Whatever goes on in Vegas, should not stay in Vegas. If it’s illegal, if it’s infringing upon justice, then it should be addressed.

This is probably the sole purpose of being involved in “watchdog” journalism. We have to keep a watch on things that may so easily slip through the cracks because of some who are not trained to look for it. We must always be prepared to take on those in high ranks who may mistreat those who don’t have the “privilege,” or means, to ride first class.

We may not be advocates for a cause, but we are catalysts that can cause hurricanes

halfway around the world.